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Ask Vanessa: Extra Support for Family Caregivers Over the Holidays

December 15, 20256 min read

"The holidays are supposed to be 'the most wonderful time of the year,' but for caregivers, they often feel like the most overwhelming. How do we find joy in the chaos?"

QUESTION FROM A READER

The holiday season brings a mix of magic and madness. For those of us caring for aging loved ones, the pressure to create "perfect" memories can feel crushing when balanced against medication schedules, doctor visits, and the daily realities of care.

I've spoken to so many families who feel guilty for dreading the holidays. They worry about disrupted routines, increased isolation, or simply running out of energy. I want you to know: you are not alone, and it is okay to ask for help. In fact, leaning on support services isn't "giving up"—it's the smartest way to ensure you and your loved one can actually enjoy the season together. Let's talk about practical ways to lighten your load this year.

Vanessa's Response

The holidays disrupt the predictable routines that seniors—especially those with dementia—rely on for stability. Combine that with the added societal pressure to host dinners, buy gifts, and be 'merry,' and you have a recipe for burnout. Caregivers often feel torn between their duties to their aging parents and the desire to participate in festivities with their children or friends, leading to profound emotional fatigue.

Vanessa's Advice

The Gift of Asking

"The greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday season is permission to receive. We often think we have to be the heroes who do it all. But allowing others to step in—whether it's a professional caregiver for a few hours or a sibling bringing dinner—isn't a sign of weakness. It's an act of love that protects your well-being and ensures you have the emotional reserve to be kind and present for your parent."
Vanessa Valerio

Vanessa Valerio

Chief Nursing Officer

Practical Tips for Families

  • 1Simplify Traditions: If putting up a 10-foot tree is too much, switch to a tabletop version. If cooking a turkey is exhausting, order a pre-made meal. Keep the feeling, ditch the fatigue.
  • 2Create a Quiet Zone: Holiday gatherings can be overstimulating for seniors. Set up a quiet room where your loved one can retreat if the noise gets too loud, preventing agitation before it starts.
  • 3Delegate with Grace: Make a list of holiday chores. Circle the three that bring you joy. Delegate, outsource, or delete the rest. You do not have to be the magic maker for everyone.
  • 4Schedule the 'After': Plan a day of pure rest for yourself immediately after the main holiday events. Knowing you have a recovery day on the calendar can make the busy days feel more manageable.
Vanessa Valerio

About Vanessa Valerio

RN, BSN, Chief Nursing Officer at Care Indeed

With over two decades of experience in geriatric nursing and care management, Vanessa is a passionate advocate for dignified aging. She specializes in dementia care, family conflict mediation, and complex case management, helping families navigate the emotional and logistical challenges of caregiving.

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